


feelings that we hide

by malecyday



Series: Malec Drabbles [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Human, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parent-Child Relationship, Single Parent Alec Lightwood, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, like the lightest angst ever, they're neighbours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-15 01:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecyday/pseuds/malecyday
Summary: Magnus and Alec have been neighbours - and best friends - for years. Through rough days at work, to adoption, the two have been through a lot together. All they have to do now is face the feelings that they hide.Or a single parent Alec and neighbour Magnus AU drabble!





	feelings that we hide

**Author's Note:**

> I needed some malec happiness and writing it in au form was all that could help. This hiatus is already killing me.  
> Enjoy!

Magnus tilts his head in concern as he listens in on the shouting next door. He doesn’t mean to be nosy, he just can’t sit by, continuing to read with his glass of wine in hand, and ignore how obviously upset his neighbour is.

He had lived next door to Alec for four years now. Living beside him every day for so long, they had run into each other more than a few times when Magnus first moved in, until somehow a friendship sprung out of passing 'hello's and polite ‘how was your day?’s.

It started with extended conversations about their terrible days at work at their doorways, then led to dinner at their places where they vented for longer with the enjoyment of good food and drinks. As friends, of course. A year went by with those weekly, sometimes daily dinners, as they slowly got to know each other. One night changed everything though when Alec showed up to Magnus’ looking completely distracted. Magnus chose not to pry, leading Alec in as he had so many times before, up until he asked Alec something about his day, received no answer, then turned to see Alec staring into the distance with a small smile.

“Alexander?” he asked, snapping Alec out of his daze when he placed his plate of food in front of him. Alec's eyes widened and he quickly straightened in his chair.

“Sorry, I just-” he paused with a lopsided smile as he ran a hand through his hair. “I think I might be a dad soon.”

Magnus froze, eyebrows quirked, staring in disbelief at his ecstatic friend. That wasn't what he had been expecting. It took Alec waving a hand in front of his face to get him out of his stupor. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he exclaimed, repeatedly hitting Alec’s arm in excitement. “That’s amazing!”

Alec laughed, a little uneasily. “I’ve been talking with Izzy about adopting for a long while, so we went to my friend Aline who has adopted with her girlfriend before. She hooked me up with the same agency a little over a year ago and they just got back to me today with a potential adoption.”

Magnus smiled, placing a hand over Alec’s on the table between them. “I didn’t even know you wanted a kid. I assume you’re doing this alone, then? No boyfriend?”

“You know the answer to that,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes when Magnus winked. “No. I’m ready now, I don’t want to wait for some guy to possibly come along and maybe want a kid too. I want this. So much.”

“You’ll be a great dad,” Magnus said, drawing his hand away to raise his glass of wine to Alec, who did the same.

“Please don’t jinx it, Magnus.” The two laughed and spent the rest of that night talking about their various experiences with kids. Magnus told Alec about his niece, Madzie, whose company was much more enjoyable than her mothers Catarina and Dot. Alec told Magnus about his younger brother, Max, who he used to look after a lot before he died a few years before. He planned on naming his child after him if he was a boy.

Not too long after, coincidentally during one of their dinners one night, Alec’s phone rang with the name of the adoption agency’s company flashing on the screen. Magnus had to yell at Alec to pick it up, Alec too afraid of bad news to chance it. By the end of the call, Alec had fallen silent, tears welling in his eyes as he looked at Magnus. Magnus honestly couldn’t tell whether it was good or bad news until Alec breathed out a single sentence.

“I’m going to be a dad.”

Thinking now, Magnus can still see Alec's blinding smile, tears running down his face as they jumped up and down together before calling everyone close to Alec with the news.

Magnus thinks Alec expected him to become scarce after he adopted. He started telling Magnus he didn’t have to come around for dinner as often with him busy getting his apartment properly baby-equipped. So, when the day he brought the baby home came around and Magnus was waiting at his door with a basket of diapers and baby food and various toys, there to offer any help, Alec was pleasantly surprised.

They spent most of that night with Izzy, Jace, Clary and Simon cooing over the tiny blue eyed boy, everyone begging to hold him until he started crying and Alec sent everyone home with a tired but terribly fond smile.

Sticking to his word, Magnus helped Alec as much as he could. As much as Alec would let him. And they became closer for it, all three of them. Over the years, Magnus would babysit whenever he was free, spending nights singing Max to sleep when Alec had to work late. He was even there alongside Alec for the boy’s first word - dada - and his first wobbly steps down Alec's loft hallway.

Now Max is a three-year-old toddler, a toddler who Magnus most definitely does not allow to stay up past his bedtime and who he never spoils with sweets before dinner.

But he most definitely is a toddler of a man Magnus is insanely in love with.

He doesn’t know when exactly it happened, or how he didn't see it sooner. But he realised a few days ago when Alec mentioned going on a date for the first time since Max.

“Izzy’s setting me up with some guy from her lab. She says I need to ‘get back out there’” he rolled his eyes as he said it, miraculously missing the way Magnus froze momentarily.

“Oh?” Magnus said, faking nonchalance as he played with the rings on his fingers and tried to identify the strange feeling tugging at his heart. “Is he coming over here to meet Max or…?”

Alec sighed. “She told me I should hold off on the ‘I have a kid who comes as a package deal’ baggage until at least the second date.”

For some reason, that made Magnus angry deep inside, though he concealed it as he hastily changed the topic. Only when he lay awake that night in bed, wondering why the hell he cared so much about Alec getting back out there, did it hit him. It was so obvious. He loved Alec, he had for quite a while if the intensity was anything to go by, and he didn’t care if he had a kid - hell, he loved the little blueberry. But he missed his chance.

Of course, now, listening to Alec argue with whom he supposes is his mystery date, a selfish hope flickers in his heart. Alec has told him that they’ve been on two dates now, and he had been planning to break the news to this ‘Raj’ guy tonight. Although Magnus can’t tell exactly what they’re saying, he’s certain the louder, angrier voice belongs to Alec.

The argument doesn’t last long, ending moments after it started with a door slamming and stomping footsteps passing right by Magnus’ own apartment. Silence follows, stabbing at Magnus until his resolve disappears and he’s up, flinging his own door open and making his way next door in seconds.

Alec had given him a key after his first time as Max’s babysitter a few years ago, so he quickly knocks before letting himself in. He stops in his tracks at the scene he walks in on.

Alec sits on his couch, beer in one hand, face in the other as he leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees. He looks up when he hears the door close behind Magnus, and he gives his friend a tired smile. Magnus notices the tears in his eyes.

“Hey, Magnus.”

Magnus rushes forward, instinctively draping an arm around his friend’s shoulder in comfort. The ghost of a thankful smile on Alec’s lips is enough to squeeze him closer.

“What happened?” he asks, voice low, soothing.

Alec gives a humourless laugh. “I was reminded why I chose to be a single dad.”

Magnus frowns. “That bad?”

“Yep,” Alec nods. “I asked him up for coffee, he took one look at the toys Max left lying around, and he told me he hoped I didn’t have a kid.”

Magnus sighs, squeezing Alec's shoulder in comfort. “First of all, asking someone up for coffee is code for sex,” Magnus says, smiling in triumph when Alec lets out a startled laugh.

“Of course it is,” Alec says with a smile as he drags a hand down his face.

Magnus laughs before bumping his side against Alec's, instantly making Alec glance his way. For a moment, he just stares and wonders ' _how didn’t I realise before? '_ until Alec slaps Magnus’ leg.

“Second of all?” he asks, bringing Magnus back to the moment. Letting out a breath, Magnus drags his eyes away and smiles nervously, hesitancy squirming in his stomach.

“Second of all, that guy sounds like a dick who doesn’t deserve you and Max in his life anyway.”

Alec’s lips quirk upwards a little and he leans his head on Magnus’ shoulder. He’s done it so many times before, but this feels different to Magnus. It makes his heart stutter in his chest.

“I just don’t understand why having a kid matters so much. Are people so insecure that they can’t bear the thought of someone having higher priorities than them?”

“Hey,” Magnus frowns, “there are people out there who couldn’t give a shit if you have a kid, people I’m sure would look at you and Max and love you both.”

Alec huffs, raising his head to look at Magnus with arched eyebrows. “Sure, Magnus, like who?”

“Like me,” he says without a second thought. Of course, he instantly regrets it when Alec pulls away, his mouth literally drops open, and his eyes widen in a way Magnus would find hilarious if he hadn’t just confessed his feelings to the man he’s loved for years.

But he doesn't take it back. It's too late for that now, he's already ruined any chance of staying friends they could've had, so he just waits, dread strengthening with every one of Alec's stutters.

“I-you-me-I,” he says, blushing, but his eyes never leaving Magnus’. Magnus almost laughs. Almost.

“I've known you and Max for years now, Alec, and you both mean the world to me. We've been great friends, and I understand if you want us to stay that way, so don't feel like you have to-”

“Will you go out with me?”

Now it's Magnus’ turn to stare at Alec's unusually certain expression.

"I've wanted to ask that for so long-"

And then Magnus is unwillingly bursting into hysterical laughter, his giggles multiplying once he catches Alec's confusion. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to get ahold of himself, though any awkwardness is lessened when he hears Alec laughing along too.

He exhales, wiping at his teary eyes. “Sorry, me too, but I think that, over the years, we've been on a lot of dates we were both just too oblivious to label.”

Alec smirks. “Are you suggesting we skip that part?”

Magnus’ swallows down a desperate ‘yes please’ and instead says, “Or we can start right now just to say we've officially been on a date.”

Alec nods, but Magnus doesn't miss the way his lips form a little pout. “Netflix?” he suggests, and Magnus nods, forcing himself to get up and make them popcorn to distract his racing heart. His mind is a whirlwind of  _is this really happening?_ until he's back sitting next to Alec.

Sitting side by side, they try. They really do. Well, okay, that's not entirely true. It just feels too normal, like they're still only friends watching TV together like always. Both are too busy exchanging quick, hungry glances to watch anything anyway. Barely five minutes into the random movie they chose, Alec is on Magnus’ lap, trailing kisses down from his lips to his neck as Magnus unbuttons the sinful dress shirt Alec wore on his stupid date. He's pretty sure it's the same one Alec wore to his sister’s wedding. He loved it then too.

That train of thought is interrupted when Alec's lips move back up to his own, his tongue parting them with ease. Magnus has no problem getting lost in the feeling, the reality, of Alec kissing him. Of Alec being above him, making him moan into his mouth. Which is why he positively whines when Alec pulls his lips away to rest their foreheads together. Then he _laughs._ Magnus tries to not feel too frustrated with his adorableness.

“What’s so funny?” he murmurs.

“I'm so glad Max is at my parents’ tonight.”

Magnus grins before leaning up to whisper in Alec's ear. “Let's take advantage of that shall we?”

With that, Magnus stands, Alec's lips descending back on him as he wraps his legs around his waist.

Magnus is suddenly thankful he has spent enough time running around this place with Max to know where every room is blindfolded. He may as well be with the way Alec is sucking a definite mark right where his throat meets his jaw.

“Wait, Magnus!” Alec gasps, pulling back quickly so that he's looking Magnus in the eyes. Magnus stops in his tracks and looks at Alec expectantly. His lips quirk into a grin. “We just Netflix and chilled, right?”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “Don't make me regret this,” he says, walking into Alec's room and slamming the door behind them with an elbow. Alec laughs as Magnus throws him on the bed.

“You live next door, you're stuck with me.”

Magnus doesn't grace him with an answer.

* * *

 

“Magnus?”

They lie in bed the next morning, sunlight beaming in past the curtains they never closed last night, soft sounds of early New York traffic easing into the room. Alec has an arm around Magnus, but now his head tilts to look down at where Magnus’ head rests on his chest.

“Yes, darling?” he hums.

“Are you sure you want this?”

Magnus frowns. “Did I not make that clear last night?”

Alec’s lips tug into a small smile, still unable to fully process the reality of last night, but it’s quick to be replaced by a sigh. “It’s just, Max can be a lot on his own and, I don’t know, I guess I’m saying that if you want to be with me, you’re agreeing to be a bigger part of his life too.”

“Alexander,” Magnus says, turning so that his chin rests on where his hands now sit on Alec’s chest. They lock eyes and Magnus can’t ignore the distinct fear in Alec’s gaze. “I’ve been a part of Max’s life since he was a baby. I know what this relationship entitles and I’m telling you I would love everything that comes along with it. Even waking up at ungodly hours to put him back to sleep, if it means sleeping next to you in the first place.”

Magnus’ words are firm, certain in a way that makes Alec’s face positively light up, and Magnus can’t take it. He shuffles up to press their lips together happily, letting out a content sigh when Alec’s arms wrap around him, bringing him closer. When they draw away, it’s because they have to breathe, and because Magnus feels like he might need another few moments to believe this is all happening.

“I can’t believe it took you going out with some guy to make me realise I loved you,” he sighs, grinning when Alec jerks up into a sitting position, looking at Magnus with wide eyes.

It takes Alec a second to compose himself, but then he’s reaching out to cup Magnus’ face gently. “ _That’s_ what it took? I knew I loved you since I walked into my apartment after work one night to find Max asleep in your arms and you watching _America’s Next Top Model._ ”

Magnus freezes. That had been at least three years ago, when Max was still small enough to be held. He slaps Alec’s arm. “Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”

Alec shrugs. “Max was a baby, you were my best friend who was really helpful throughout it all. You’ve dated a few people over the years so I was afraid you didn’t feel the same and then we’d be ruined. And when I brought up Raj the other day, I wanted to see your reaction. You seemed fine with it and I thought it better to just move on.”

Magnus smirks. “And how did that work out?”

Alec laughs, looking pointedly between the two of them. “Perfectly.”

Magnus is about to dive in for another kiss when they both hear the front door close with a bang, and a voice shout, “We’re back!”. This is closely followed by the hurried pitter-patter of tiny feet down the hall until they come to a stop in front of Alec’s bedroom door. The two watch in horror as the doorknob jiggles a few times before the door swings open, revealing Max in his favourite footie pyjamas. He giggles at the sight of them, then runs over to the bed and stumbles up onto it, jumping right in between the speechless Magnus and Alec.

“Hi Daddy, hi Magnus, did you have a sleepover too?”

Magnus can’t hold back a laugh, and just watches as Alec fumbles for an answer. Luckily, he’s interrupted by an amused voice in the doorway.

“So I’m guessing that date went well?” Maryse asks, eyeing the two of them with an amused chuckle. When she realises all that will come out of Alec’s mouth is nonsensical stutters, she glances at Magnus.

“Jace won’t be too happy about this, he bet Izzy it would take you guys till Max was at least six.”

Magnus huffs out a laugh of disbelief. “Three more years? He misjudged my skills of seduction.” While the two share quick grins, Alec glares at Magnus.

“Am I the only one who heard the word ‘bet’?”

Magnus and Maryse laugh, and Max looks between them in confusion, a frown on his little face as he jumps onto his dad’s lap.

“What’s funny, daddy?”

Alec lies back so that Max is resting against his chest. He runs a hand through his dark hair. “Stupid grown-up stuff, blueberry. Now, are you hungry for some lunch? I’m hungry.”

Max nods quickly before he brings his small hands up to turn Alec’s face towards Magnus. He's sitting back now too, and watches them with a small, fond smile on his face.

“Can Magnus make his spaghetti?” He says it like ‘bisgetti’, but both Magnus and Alec know what he means.

“Of course I can, darling, with extra sauce the way you like it?”

Max nods again and jumps back up, nearly tripping on the sheets Alec and Magnus desperately cling to as he slides onto the floor. He grabs Magnus’ hand and tugs a little, silently asking him to follow. Magnus gives a strained smile, securing the covers around him.

“We’ll be there in a little bit. If you want to help cook, you have to wash your hands first so the food doesn’t taste icky.”

Max lets go of his hand and nods, face amusingly serious for a three-year-old. He runs past Maryse and straight to the kitchen, leaving the three adults alone.

Maryse nods at them, the hint of a smile playing on her lips. Meanwhile, Alec stares at Magnus with so much disbelief and honest love, he almost startles when his mother starts speaking.

“I see you three have your day planned out. I have to go, but I’ll see you later,” she says, turning to leave. She stops halfway, though, and turns back with a serious look on her face, eyes bearing into Magnus’. “Don’t you hurt him or my grandson, Magnus.”

With that, she’s gone, calling out a ‘say goodbye to grandma’ to Max on her way out. Magnus stares after her, dumbfounded, until he feels Alec’s hand in his and any fear his mother’s words put in him dissipates immediately. This is the life Magnus wants, the life he wouldn’t jeopardize for anything. He plans on being with Alec and Max for as long as he’s allowed.

That doesn’t keep him from pretending to be scared, though.

Alec sighs, reaching a hand up to finger at Magnus’ frowning lips. “Don’t mind her. I know you’d never hurt us, Magnus.”

Magnus nods slowly. “But what if she finds out, Alexander?” he asks, concern etching every word. It takes everything he has to not laugh when Alec quirks a brow in question. “What if she finds out I'm just doing this so I can get close enough to steal Max from right under you. It's been my plan all along.”

Alec laughs long and hard, and Magnus watches in content. “She would hunt you down, take him back, and murder you,” he heaves between laughs.

Magnus sighs in fake exasperation. “I guess it’s in my best interest to stay with the two of you, then.”

They exchange happy smiles, getting out of bed and slipping on some clothes before they leave, hand in hand, to join Max in the kitchen. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Malec+kids=my happiness. And so this was born.  
> Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts, here or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/Samwastherealhe), and I'll see you next time, maybe with more malec parenting! :)


End file.
